A Fist Full of Pills

Tying into the whole The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly thing.... but we're actually talking about two fistfuls of pills. First of all, I die a little bit inside each time I have to float to the "stepdown" unit anyway. God help me, the 0900 meds. Let's see what we have here:

1) allopurinol
2) bumetanide
3) carvedilol
4) darbapoetin alfa
5) enoxaparin
6) fluoxetine
7) gemfibrozil
8) hydralazine
9) isosorbide
10) Januvia
11) ketoconazole
12) levofloxacin
13) metronidazole
14) niacin
15) omeprazole
16) potassium chloride
17) quetiapine
18) rosuvastatin
19) sildenafil
20) tamsulosin
21) ursodiol
22) valsartan
23) warfarin
24) Xopenex
25) Yieronia
26) zinc

"And For a Few Pills More": Colace, Senna, Fish Oil, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Multivitamin, Calcium, and a few sprinkles of Nystatin powder on top.

I place the most important pill in the cup first (quetiapine, naturally) and the octogenerian patient wrestles it down. Here comes pill #2....... Now pill #3..........Pill #12........Pill #13.... by now the patient is begging to stop. He is tired of taking pills. He has had enough. But if I am very unlucky, the patient's psychotic daughter will be at the bedside cajoling the unfortunate soul to sally forth until the last life-saving fish oil capsule is choked down with applesauce. This patient doesn't have the energy to argue anymore and resigns himself to another spoonful of applesauce/pill combo. Pill #16.....Pill #17......

45 minutes later- lather, rinse, and repeat for the next patient, and the next.... My only comfort is that when I get back to my home unit, I'll be administering meds through the various assortment of tubes- as is proper.